How common is erectile dysfunction (ED)?

Erectile dysfunction is very common and can affect men of all ages. It may be new, ongoing, or intermittent, and it often involves a mix of physical and psychological factors.

What are the most common causes of erectile dysfunction?

ED is often caused by a combination of physical and psychological factors. Physical contributors can include diabetes, high blood pressure, low testosterone, chronic stress, and poor sleep. Psychological contributors can include stress, depression, and performance anxiety that disrupt the body’s arousal response.

Do ED pills work for everyone?

No. ED medication can help many men, but it does not work for everyone. Some men need additional medical evaluation and a broader treatment plan that addresses stress, anxiety, relationship dynamics, and lifestyle factors.

How does performance anxiety contribute to erectile dysfunction?

Performance anxiety can create a cycle of worry and “spectating,” where you monitor your erection instead of staying present with pleasure. This can trigger a fight-or-flight response that interferes with arousal and makes it harder to get or maintain an erection.

What does “spectating” mean in the context of ED?

“Spectating” is when you mentally step outside the experience and judge how your erection is performing rather than focusing on sensations, connection, and pleasure. This self-monitoring increases pressure and can reduce arousal.

Why is it important to consult a doctor about erectile dysfunction?

Because ED can sometimes be an early warning sign of cardiovascular or other health issues, it’s important to consult a doctor for appropriate screening and medical guidance instead of relying on unregulated supplements or guessing at the cause.

What role can a certified sex therapist play in treating ED?

A certified sex therapist can help address the emotional and relational factors that medication alone may not resolve. Therapy can reduce shame, dismantle unhelpful beliefs about masculinity, build sexual confidence, and provide tools for managing anxiety and improving intimacy.

Should my partner be involved in ED treatment?

Often, yes. Including your partner can improve outcomes and reduce isolation, because ED affects both people in the relationship. Working as a team can lower pressure, increase emotional safety, and strengthen intimacy.

How can couples stay intimate while working through erectile dysfunction?

Couples can reduce pressure by expanding intimacy beyond penetration and exploring a wider “menu” of touch and pleasure. Strengthening emotional intimacy—through kindness, communication, and deeper conversations—can also help partners feel more secure and relaxed, which supports arousal.

Is erectile dysfunction treatable without quick fixes or supplements?

Yes. A successful plan often combines medical support with changes that address underlying factors, such as stress management, better sleep, reducing performance anxiety, and improving relationship connection. Avoid unregulated supplements and focus on evidence-informed care.

How to Treat Erectile Dysfunction to Improve Intimacy

Jan 25

Written By Heather England

upset man and woman in bed in pajamas who need to learn how to treat erectile dysfunctionb ecause the man cannot get an erection

Erectile dysfunction (ED) is far more common than most people realize—and far more treatable than many fear. Whether ED is new, ongoing, or intermittent, it can take a real toll on confidence, intimacy, and relationships. The good news is that there are effective ways to treat erectile dysfunction that go beyond quick fixes and address what’s really going on.

TL;DR — How to Treat Erectile Dysfunction

ED is common: It affects men of all ages and is often a mix of physical and psychological factors.
The "Pill" isn't everything: Unfortunately, it doesn’t work for 30% of men with ED. You may be interested in reading more about the pill.
Anxiety is the enemy: Performance anxiety creates a cycle of "spectating" that kills arousal.
Teamwork works: Including your partner leads to better outcomes and deeper intimacy.
Professional help is key: Combine medical advice with specialized workshops or therapy.

Whether you are 25 or 76, a vibrant sex life is a vital part of being human. However, when your body doesn’t respond the way you want it to, it can feel devastating. Men often carry incredible shame when facing erection difficulties, but you don't have to navigate this alone.

If you are looking for ways to treat erectile dysfunction, it’s important to understand that a successful plan often involves more than just a quick fix. It requires a blend of medical support, emotional processing, and relationship connection.

Understand the "Why" Behind ED

To effectively help overcome erectile dysfunction, we first have to identify the source. ED is rarely a standalone issue; it is often a combination of two factors:

Physical Causes: Conditions like diabetes, high blood pressure, or low testosterone. Even lifestyle choices like stress and lack of sleep play a major role.
Psychological Factors: This is where the mind hijacks the body. Stress, depression, and "performance anxiety" are powerful enough to shut down the body’s natural arousal response.

Breaking the Cycle of Performance Anxiety

One of the biggest hurdles in any effort to master erectile dysfunction is learning to stop "spectating." This happens when you stop feeling the pleasure of the moment and start analyzing your erection's "performance" from the sidelines.

When you worry about whether you’ll stay hard, your body enters a "fight or flight" mode, which pulls blood away from the penis. To help you get out of your head and back into your body, I recommend my Mastering Performance Anxiety Workshop. It’s designed to give you the exact tools needed to manage the negative chatter in your brain about your erection so you can focus on pleasure again.

Why Professional Help Matters

Many people try to "DIY" their recovery with unregulated supplements. However, because ED can sometimes be an early warning sign for cardiovascular health, it is essential to consult with a doctor.

Simultaneously, a certified sex therapist can help you navigate the emotional "clogged pipes" that pills can't reach. We work to dismantle myths about masculinity and rebuild your sexual self-confidence.

Include Your Partner in the Process

Research consistently shows that men are more successful when they include their partners in their journey. Partners are also impacted by ED, and you need to manage erectile dysfunction as a team effort.

Expand the Menu: Take the pressure off penetration. Exploring new ways to touch and pleasure each other can lower anxiety enough to allow an erection to return naturally.
Strengthen Emotional Intimacy: Small acts of kindness and deep conversation build the security needed to feel safe and relaxed in the bedroom.

Take the Next Step

ED can be a tool for growth rather than a relationship-ender. My husband and I found that navigating ED actually catapulted our sexual relationship to new heights because it forced us to talk, explore, and get creative.

If you’re ready to move past the frustration and create a "vibrant charcuterie board" of intimacy, I invite you to explore my Take Charge of ED Erectile Dysfunction Masterclass. It provides a comprehensive roadmap for you and your partner to reclaim your sex life and build a connection that is stronger than ever.

Heather England